Tales from the 13th “Mr. Banjos and Loss of a Friend” (Where Bruises Go)

Fifth grade came, and Eric got the only male teacher that St. Thomas had, Mr. Banjos. He was known as the math teacher, and his reputation preceded him. He was a mathematical man. The only problem was that he was a giant douche bag. If Cafferty ever had a teacher whom he hated most, it was Banjos. What could the teacher do that was so horrid to warrant a child’s disdain, long enough to last into adulthood? He did what the other teacher did. He placed him in the corner, made sure that he was shunned by the other children, and lied. Eric did the same thing, focusing on one homework subject and neglecting the others. That meant that homework wasn’t done, and he had to get his assignment book signed by both teachers and parents. Again, the work suffered as he didn’t understand what was going on and just wrote anything to get it done.

            Then there came the time that he was tired of being in the corner and made a deal with Banjos. This deal would set the tone for every agreement that the kid made for the rest of his life. The teacher agreed that he’d move him out of the corner if and only if he did all his homework for him and didn’t miss any assignments. Eric worked his ass off, making sure that the assignments were done and turned in. It was Friday, and he went to his English class taught by Miss Davids and forgot to do his assignment for her. He went to Banjos that afternoon, proud that everything for him was in, and he refused to move him out. He didn’t turn in Miss David’s assignment, and that meant he was stuck in the corner.

            This nearly set the kid off, as he was livid ten times over! He wanted to break something; he was that irate with the lying bastard. The deal was, has been, and always will be “For HIM!” They shook hands on the deal, with the provision that he would do his homework for HIM. There was no mention of other teachers, just him. He changed the deal at the last moment over a single assignment. Any respect the child had for the teacher was gone. From that point on, he didn’t care. Why should he? He could work his ass off, get the job done, and then be lied to afterwards. But this was the only slight the balding bastard would do to the kid.

            Eric was severely picked on, as pictures of Smurfs were on the arms of his glasses. He didn’t know that when he got them, they looked just like his older pair, but the other kids noticed that right away and teased him mercilessly. Did Banjos ever correct the kids or stop them from making his life a living hell? No. Keeping him in the corner, even on lunch, shunned him from the get-go. The only friend that he had was the Assistant Janitor, Steve. Cafferty would constantly volunteer to take the garbage or the milk crate down. That way, he had a five-minute window to talk to his friend. He would show up early and stay after school to talk to him. Steve was such a kind soul.

            The thing about Steve was that the head janitor, who lived two doors down from Eric, introduced Steve to his daughter Debbie. That meant that he would hang around the house, and he even spoke to Deanna and Eric Sr. He’d talk to the father as they both rode motorcycles. That was how he first discovered they were also communicating with each other. At first, he was nervous, afraid that he would tell them something and get himself in trouble, but that never happened. The man was trustworthy. It was the only safe place that Eric had, and then they went on Easter break. Before leaving for vacation, he stopped by to speak with Steve. The last words he said were that he’d see him when they got back.

            Then April 13^th came. He was on his way to pick up his wedding bands when someone hit and killed him. School was called off that Monday, in honor of the employee. Eric didn’t know what had happened or that school was out until Father Miguel told him. When he asked why, that’s when his world came to a halt. His friend was dead, and he didn’t even get a proper goodbye. Seeing that he was a member of the school’s family, the teachers were allowed to pick one boy and one girl to represent the class at the funeral. Seeing that he was friends with him, why shouldn’t he represent the class when it came down to it?

            He went up to Banjo that very Tuesday and asked if he knew he was friends with Steve, which he confirmed. He asked him to represent the class because of this. All that the teacher said was, “We’ll see.” Two days later, he picked up two kids who didn’t know him at all. Not happy that he had been passed over, he asked the teacher why he had been overlooked. He told him how his decision was final and that he needed to drop it. If he didn’t, he’d get a detention, and he couldn’t afford to have one, because that meant his parents would have to sign it. There was one last hope. He was an altar boy and could serve at Mass. That meant he’d be allowed out of class. So, he went to Father Sam.

            Usually, when the altar boys were selected, those who worked the funerals and weddings would get a tip. He didn’t care about this; he wanted to see his friend off. When he went to Father Sam, he was told that he had already selected who would serve. Desperately, he begged and pleaded with the priest, telling him that he was a friend of his. He had to be there somehow. It was too late. The holy man had made up his mind, and it didn’t matter that this was his friend. It killed a small piece of the kid, as it wasn’t fair that he was excused from helping or representing his friend. He even asked his parents if he could go to the wake, as they were going. It didn’t shock him that they refused.

            A year later, he received a call to serve at a wedding. Knowing that he would get a tip, and weddings paid more than funerals, he took it. Keep in mind that they didn’t tell the altar boys who they were serving. They were only asked, “Are you free at such and such a time?” If they were, they were asked to serve. Upon arriving at the church, he set everything up and prepared for the ceremony. He saw the janitor there, dressed in a tux, and thought it was one of his sons or a friend. Then the bride’s veil was lifted, and it was Debbie. A year after his friend’s death. Her fiancé’s! Here she was, getting married to someone else.

            It would be surprising to think that she would never move on. He knew that. However, to move on, just over a year was too much for him. He was sickened by the whole thing. But still, he did his job because this wasn’t about her; this was about God. It took many years and some deep thought. He started to wonder, what if it was Steve’s request to God that his friend serve the woman he loved at her wedding? If you believe in God, then you don’t have to wonder how He thinks this way. If you don’t, there’s no way to explain it. If it were a request, the initial gut feeling of feeling ill and judging her was wrong. Judging her at all was bad. However, he did at that time. Who knew what happened? It wasn’t for him to know; it wasn’t his life.

            The one thing that saved him from flunking was that it was known his family was going to experience a divorce. For him to return, he would have to go to a psychiatrist and would be on probation after that in the sixth grade. That was a Hail Mary play, as it wasn’t disclosed to the teacher and principal in the final two weeks of school. That meant that, leading up to the time he ceased to care, there was family trouble, and they took pity on the kid. The events that led up to it are a tale in their own right.